Just One Of Those “Thing”s.

Not everyone is pleased about the upcoming remake (prequel?) of John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982), but as the new film is days away from opening it’s much too late to pool your money and buy NBC Universal; pour sugar in the gas tanks of the vehicles delivering the prints to area theaters; or make your own version that puts this new as-yet-unseen iteration to shame.

But what if it wasn’t too late for that last option? What if someone who sounds an awful lot like Frank Sinatra (well, OK, Steve Lawrence, but let’s not be choosy) whipped up a kooky, crazy, Vegas-y salute to the original* Thing we all loved to hate? It might look a little like this…

So crazy, it just might work.

*Yes, Carpenter’s Thing was a remake too, not original at all. Which makes people who get cranky about this one about 30 years late for the bus. But that’s another story.